Days and weeks go by so quick and when someone asks, you always say “I’m doing good” or “I’m doing fine”, because day-to-day, you are. Then all of a sudden, it hits us – the work we have been doing, the energy we have been using, the roles we have been fulfilling as a parent, a partner, or as a friend… Life is fast-paced and we are constantly moving with it, with little time to puse and take stock of how we feel. The time we live in is stressful, and you may be anxious for what the future may hold, or you’re starting to think about the festive period + the planning required despite the ever-changing circumstances. There’s a lot to think about and you do have cause to feel stressed right now. That’s why now, more than ever, I want to stress the importance of having a sanctuary space to call your own. To rest, to revive, to restore... to return yourself to ‘you’. This personal space is a selfish space but a necessary space, and it will let you be the true selfless and strong individual that you are. Whether you’re a man with a plan or a woman on the hustle with a baby on her arm, you deserve a space to call your own and I hope these steps help you do it.
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First rule: DEDICATE a space to being a sanctuary and commit to it. It might function as an office or as a bedroom for most of the time, but reserving a place and giving it a purpose to serve you is the first and essential step required for your sanctuary to really work. Pick a space that you know will remain yours as much as possible, free from toys, piles of clothes and other people’s clutter. It is a place for YOU, to call upon whenever you need, be it spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically.
CLEAN IT. You don’t have to spend hours on your hands and knees if you don’t want to, but having a space clean and clear of clutter is essential for de-cluttering what’s going on inside of you too - don’t underestimate it. Again, DEDICATE the space to being a zone free from baby toys, dog chews, to-do list projects and empty boxes. The space doesn’t need to be staged as a showroom, but it does need to be clear from the clutter of daily life so that you can really breathe + realign with yourself.
STRIP IT. Go back to basics and start from a plain foundation from which to build your sanctuary. Remove as many distractions as you can – visually, physically, outside sounds. You might have to take a few things off the walls, paint over a busy wallpaper, move some furniture, buy some new curtains or soundproof a window. You want to start with an empty-ish space so that you can understand, over time, what you need to bring in to it to accommodate for yourself later on. The first few times you use the space might feel strange – aside from having a rare moment to yourself anyway! But purposefully seeking solace and sitting in a plain space with just yourself is daunting and can feel uncomfortable. But that’s why you need the room: to learn to understand your emotions and how you can manage them when given the opportunity and the time. It is a room that will be built from within you, based on what your body needs and what peace you thrive.
DE-CLUTTER THOROUGHLY + RE-FILL IT THOUGHTFULLY. What connects you to your passions? What speaks to you and who you are? What inspires you? This is a space for you to encourage sensibility – the power of appreciating and responding to emotional or aesthetic influences. It might be certain pieces of art or photographs, an item of clothing once worn but still beautiful, or objects that remind you of a day more wholesome. Whatever it is, when you look at it you should feel something – love, elation, energy, comfort, connection… But remember that the space is for relaxation, for grounding yourself, and less is definitely more in this case. My sanctuary is my bedroom and although it contains the furniture and the items that make my room liveable, I have made a concerted effort to keep it as a place I can go for peace. The walls are cream, my accessories quite neutral and I have “posters” of CELINE campaigns and aesthetic architecture to remind me of simple pleasures and my love for the art of fashion. I have a bunch of everlasting white roses from my Father and an empty bottle of Moet & Chandon from a special dinner date with my Grandad a few years ago. There are a few photographs of family, an orange Hermes bag to hold my essential oils, and a brown wicker tray with pearly white oyster shells scattered within it. Little things, aesthetic pleasures, but all contribute to my sanctuary.
FENG-SHUI. The art of balance between the elements: fire, water, metal, earth and wood. If you find that you begin to use the space in times of frustration, then you are creating your sanctuary as a place to calm these energies so you want to add the relaxation element of water, either through visual features, sound or scent. If you need a space to ground yourself to reality and to stabilise your emotions, you need Earth. Add plants or sands and rocks for a literal element, or turn to the power of colour healing and add something that is dark red: the colour of the Root Chakra and supposed to enable us to tap into our grounding Earth energy. The qualities of the elements are symbolic of the qualities they will bring. Wood: Growth + Creativity. Earth: Stability + Balance. Metal: Logic + Intelligence. Water: Wisdom + Serenity. Fire: Passion + Energy. Use this knowledge to explore the element that will bring balance to your emotion.
PREPARE THE SPACE for the activity you want + need it for. You may go to use your space for a 30-minute breather at some point every day, or it may be two weeks before you really need to set foot in there, but you do so for 2 or 3 hours at a time. Either way, you need the room to be ready for you and the activity or atmosphere that will calm and centralise you. If you’re artsy, set up a corner with an easel and sketch pad, or a place with your journal, latest ELLE magazine, recipe books or your knitting needles. If you meditate or like to stretch out your stress, have a mat and a scented candle ready to go as soon as you enter. If building things is your creative outlet, then get a small building project going on in there, even if its Lego. You don’t have to use them each time you use the room, but knowing that they are there and waiting for you when you need your moments is enough to help you unwind and feel more connected to yourself.
INSPIRE YOURSELF. What do you associate with inner peace? Do what you can to incorporate it in your space. What do you wear to make you feel comfortable and emotionally free? Have it ready to put on when you enter. Do you drink to soothe your soul? Savour the flavour of your favourite red or get your hands around a hot mug of tea or a cocoa latte whilst you’re in there. Be intentional: “I need to be calm, I am going to be calm, these steps will help me do it”. Clear your mind as much as you can. Your point of power is in the present moment and this is the only moment that exists in your sanctuary.
SCENTS FOR THE SENSES. Scent is one of the best ways to calm yourself and you can go two ways with it. The first, by investing in scents that are proven to aid relaxation or has restoration properties. These include Lavender, White Lotus, Peppermint, Sweet Basil, Musk, Rosemary, Chamomile, Patchouli, Yi Yi Ren… and there are so many pre-mixed blends available to buy. The second way is to fill it with your favourite, such as cookies & cream, vanilla, Christmas scents, fresh meadows... One of my favourites is to mix Eucalyptus, Rosemary + Lemon if I need to re-energise myself. For comfort, I turn to my Tonka + Oud wax melts, and for fun I go with marzipan.
RELEASE YOUR ENERGY. Understand that this space is going to be used to tap in to your energy and release any stagnant pressure that may have built. With every inhalation, building brick, circular motion or brush stroke, visualise your stress or negative energy and push it out of the body through the medium you have chosen. You may want to say it out loud, for example, “This energy does not serve me, I do not need it, I cannot let it control me". Clear it out as you engage in your activity and disengage with the outside world, and be surprised how much space you create within you as a result.
Find your space, create your space, discover your peace.
If you need some help in styling your space or sourcing some products, send me an email (elizabethandwhite.contact@gmail.com) or contact me through instagram (@amieelwhite) and we can see what I can do.
AE x
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